Download PDF Pride and Prejudice and Vampires
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Book Details :
Published on: 2012-10-04
Released on: 2012-10-04
Original language:
PJ Jones doesn’t just take fiction and make it funny. First she bludgeons it, butchers it, pulverizes it, and then regurgitates the indigestible parts onto the page. So if you are bold enough to click on that purchase button, just be warned; if your laugh-o-meter is set to prude, not crude, and you have high literary standards, or ANY standards at all, you will be sadly disappointed, plus you may vomit a little in your mouth. If you are ready to take a jaunt through low-brow inane prose, join Elizabeth Bennet and her vampire family as they disgrace a once-esteemed novel while feasting on toad-faced suitors, servants and orphans. Mmmmm. Thank goodness for Mr. Darcy, who tries to steer Elizabeth back on script, and preserve whatever dignity is left of Jane Austen’s good name, while at the same time, salivating over Elizabeth Bennet’s huge breasts.Included in this shameless satire is more rip-snortin’ good fun, a collection of eight short paranormal parodies: The Guide to Immortal Sex; The PMS Vampire, Werewolf and Zombie Handbook; Melvin the Vacuum Salesman Zombie; and a few other nameless, tasteless short stories. What are you waiting for Either buy the book or get out now before you suffer permanent brain damage. *** Praise for Pride and Prejudice and Vampires ***From Jane Austen: This book motivated me to return from beyond the veil of mortality so that I might smack PJ Jones upside the head.From PJ Jones’ neighbor’s dead cat: I can’t believe I wasted one of my nine lives reading this book. From Melvin the zombie: Brains. Books. Brains.From the flasher in the Safeway parking lot: Come a little closer. I’ve got something else for you to read. From the sanitation truck driver in PJ’s neighborhood: I knew there was a strange smell coming from PJ’s house. LGBT rights in Cuba - Wikipedia Article 36 of the Constitution of Cuba defines marriage as "the voluntarily established union between a man and a woman". Under Article 2 of the Family Code marriage ... 10 Upcoming Vampire Movies - MTV Next time you go to the movies don't forget your garlic because these days the theater is overrun with vampires. Races - The Racial Slur Database - rsdb.org Slur Represents Reason & Origins; Azn: Asians: Asians that spend too much time online and hence use "l33t" the "hacker" language: Banana: Asians: An Asian American ... Diary - Wikipedia Etymology. The word diary comes from the Latin diarium ("daily allowance" from dies "day"). The word journal comes from the same root (diurnus "of the day") through ... WinCo Foods The Supermarket Low Price Leader Welcome to WinCoFoods.com where our goal is to bring the same level of quality and service that were known for into the digital world. Who is WinCo Foods? Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Author Scripting Tim ... Pride and Prejudice and Zombies Author Scripting Tim Burton Film Dark Shadows Movie News - Moviefone.com Read all the hottest movie news. Get all the latest updates on your favorite movies - from new releases to timeless classics get the scoop on Moviefone. : Goliath - Season 1: Billy Bob Thornton ... Goliath: Starring Golden Globe Winner Billy Bob Thornton. Billy Bob Thornton won the Golden Globe Award for Best Television Actor (Drama Series) for his outstanding ... Pride and Prejudice Want more deets? We've also got a complete Online Course about Pride and Prejudice with three weeks worth of readings and activities to make sure you know your stuff ... LS2 PAC - Catalog Log in with either your Library Card Number or EZ Login. Library ID (No Spaces!) or EZ Username Last Name or EZ Password. Remember Me
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